I keep replaying old hurts in my mind and I cannot let go of the grudge. It is exhausting me more than the person who wronged me. How do I finally release it?
This kind of tiredness is real, and it has a cause. An old wound sits in a person like a stone sewn into a pocket, and the weight goes wherever he goes. The one who hurt you sleeps, and you are the one turning the memory over in the dark. That is not a defect in you. It is what happens when a heart wants justice and has nowhere to set the burden down. There is a place to set it down.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, once pointed to a man and told his companions he was of the people of Paradise. They watched him closely, expecting some great feat of worship, and found none. When he was finally asked, he could name only one thing, and it had nothing to do with his limbs. It was about his chest.
“I find in myself no deceit toward any Muslim, nor do I envy anyone for the good Allah has given him.”
The man of Paradise to whom the Prophet (peace be upon him) pointed, Musnad Ahmad (12697) · meaning
A man earned Paradise not by long standing in prayer but by keeping his chest clear of ill-will, wishing no one harm, letting the grudges fall out of his hands like sand. And Allah is gentle with a heart that tries this, because He has promised what the strongest of us cannot manage alone:
“And We shall remove from their hearts any lurking rancour, so that they become as brothers, seated upon couches, face to face.”
Qur’an, Al-Hijr 15:47 · meaning
See what this means. Even in the Garden, Allah Himself reaches into the chest and lifts out the last trace of old bitterness. If He does that final work for the people of Paradise, He will help you begin it now. You are not asked to feel warmth all at once. You are asked to loosen your grip and leave the rest to Him. Your body will tell you when something has shifted: when a grudge is really released, sleep comes more easily and you feel lighter, because the heart was never built to carry a stone for years.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, gave us the whole picture in one breath:
“Do not hate one another, do not envy one another, do not turn away from one another; but be, O servants of Allah, brothers.”
The Prophet (peace be upon him), Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim (Bukhari 6065 / Muslim 2559) · meaning
Notice that he calls us servants of Allah before he calls us brothers. Your letting go is not really a gift to the one who wronged you. It is an act of worship, offered upward. So release the grudge not for his sake, but because your Lord asked it of you, and because your own tired heart has earned its rest.
One small step: Tonight, just before sleep, whisper into the dark the name of the one who hurt you, and say quietly, “I let this go, for the sake of Allah,” and then close your eyes. Do this one night, and see how much lighter the morning feels.