I make promises to my children and to friends easily and then life gets busy and I do not keep them. Are these little broken promises actually a sin?
A promise you meant kindly and then did not keep is not nothing, and the fact that it sits uneasily with you is a good sign rather than a fault. So set the worry down and let us look at the matter plainly.
In a busy life it becomes a habit to let a light promise slip. “We will go on Friday.” “I will call you back.” Such words soften the moment, but there was no settled intention behind them to carry them out. What is asked of us here is small: close the gap between the tongue and the hands.
“O you who believe, why do you say what you do not do? Greatly hateful it is in the sight of Allah that you say what you do not do.”
Qur’an, As-Saff 61:2-3 · meaning
Notice too that the Qur’an does not treat a promise as a small thing to be waved away. It is something that will be asked about.
“And fulfil the promise, for the promise will be questioned.”
Qur’an, Al-Isra 17:34 · meaning
And the Prophet, peace be upon him, counted the breaking of a promise among the signs of an untrustworthy heart. That is not said to frighten anyone. It is said so that we know how much weight trustworthiness carries.
“The signs of a hypocrite are three: when he speaks, he lies; when he promises, he breaks it; and when he is entrusted, he betrays.”
The Prophet (peace be upon him), Sahih al-Bukhari (33) · meaning
This touches the home most of all. Those who study children tell us that a parent’s small kept promises are what build a child’s sense of safety, because the child learns that the world can be relied upon. Every word you honour is a brick in that shelter. So the answer is not to promise less out of fear, but to promise more carefully, only what you actually mean, and then to keep even the smallest of them. And when something genuinely prevents you, say so and apologise rather than letting it pass in silence.
One small step: The next time you are about to say “I promise” to a child or a friend, pause for one breath and promise only what you are sure you can do, then write that one small thing where you will see it, and keep it.